In the TARDIS
by mara-anni
Summary: A series of short stories-snippets about some of the days and times between adventures, just living in the TARDIS. The Doctor (generally as each chapter is a different Doctor...I think) and Rose. If you don't like Rose, back away slowly. Completely within canon; the events here are not contradictory to canon and could have happened.
1. Chapter 1

**In the TARDIS**

by mara-anni

**Chapter One - Bigger on the Inside**

The Doctor's head popped up out of the floor when Rose called and she handed him his coffee – white with no sugar. He'd pulled a section of the grating up making a large rectangular hole by the TARDIS console, inside which he'd been tinkering when she'd arrived with his cuppa.

'We're nearly out of milk.' She sat on the floor, dangling her legs over the edge of the opened section and sipped her tea.

'Balabas Four has the creamiest milk in their galaxy. Famous for it, they are. They get it from…'

'No, Doctor.'

'But-'

'No. Remember what happened last time?'

'That was an isolated incident. Besides, it wasn't even technically milk since it…'

'No.'

'But Rose-'

'No.'

'Fine,' he sighed, resigned. 'I just wanna make a few adjustments to the TARDIS, then we'll stop at Tesco's.' He rolled his eyes at her.

Rose hid her smirk behind the rim of her mug; he was adorable when he was surly. It wasn't that she didn't enjoy the various culinary delights of the universe; she did. They'd had to munch on all sorts of bizarre things so as not to 'offend the natives', as the Doctor would say. Rose had drawn the line on only two things: food that still moved of its own volition, and milk.

She glanced up at the central column which was still moving steadily with its gentle grind. 'Are we still in the Vortex?'

'Yep, we'll stay here a while.' The Doctor gulped down the last of his coffee and ducked back under the grating to work.

'What, so, you don't need to land to do whatever it is you're doin'? Turn the TARDIS off or anythin'?'

'No,' came the somewhat muffled reply from somewhere under the console. 'The Time Vortex. Safest place in the universe…sort of.'

'It's not really _in _the universe though, is it? That's what you said.'

He popped up again, grinned at her and said 'exactly!' before ducking under again.

'So how long's this gonna take, then?'

Some shuffling, a bang, and what Rose could have sworn was a curse, later, he emerged out of the opening once more. He looked at her as he pulled off his leather jacket and tossed it up onto the grating.

'A while. Why?'

'I thought I'd go explore some more.'

'Okay, have fun.' He ducked away again and Rose gathered up both cups.

She turned when she heard him shout her name just as she'd gotten to the hallway.

'Watch out, though. Even I can't remember what's in all the rooms.'

She started to leave, but thought of something. 'Doctor, can I get lost in here?'

'No,' he shouted from under the floor. 'If you decide you've had enough and can't remember how to get back, just keep walking. You'll end up back here.'

Right. Can't get lost, Rose thought. Well that was comforting. She'd considered asking how, if the TARDIS was apparently so big even the Doctor didn't know quite how big it was, you would end up back at the Control Room if you just kept walking. But then he'd probably make some remark about stupid ape brains or something, especially if he was having a bad day with the TARDIS. So she just trusted him, replaced the cups in the kitchen for the TARDIS to take care of, and went exploring.

She walked past their bedrooms. She'd left her door open this morning, but it didn't matter, she always found it shut when she returned. Opposite hers, was the Doctor's; not that he used it often. He didn't need much sleep, apparently. Still, more often than not, she'd shuffle drowsily into the console room after a night's sleep to find him slumped in the pilot's seat, legs crossed at his ankles, arms crossed over his chest, fast asleep. She'd call his name and his eyes would pop open, instantly awake-annoyingly the Doctor was never drowsy- he'd jump off the seat and tell her it was about time she woke up coz he was getting bored. He'd roll his eyes about humans and start throwing levers around, asking her where she wanted to go next and pout if she insisted on breakfast and a shower first.

She left the wardrobe behind and decided she'd go in completely the opposite direction.

She hadn't thought very much could surprise her anymore. But apparently she'd been wrong. Here she was in the TARDIS, standing in a field, with lush green grass under her sneakers and a bright warm sky. She tried to peer up at the sky to see if she could make out some sort of elaborate lighting system that made it look-and feel-like the sun was beating down upon her head. But it was too bright, it made her eyes water and caused a sharp ache in her head. So she gave up. Instead she looked around her, deciding where to go first. How big the room was, she couldn't tell… could you call a paddock a room? It just went off into the distance. She spent ages just gazing out at it, catching herself squinting-as if that was going to help…thank god the Doctor hadn't been there to see that, she'd never have heard the end of it. There was just something…off… about the view, but she couldn't quite put her finger on it.

She stepped onto the bottom rung of one of the wooden fences. Even this didn't seem right in a space/ time machine; it was the type of fence she'd expect to see in some American Western or something. But here it was. Using it for a higher vantage point, she looked into the distance again, past the few trees that dotted the landscape, over the sea of green-she wasn't even going to begin to think about trees and grass in the TARDIS yet-and then it hit her. There was no curvature. The sky wasn't blue at the horizon, which was actually a relief coz the whole thing would have been even weirder if it had been; instead it was the same colour as the rest of TARDIS's walls and ceilings and there, where the green of the grass met the russet of the ceiling, the ground was flat.

Rose smiled. She wondered if a person _could _walk off the edge of the world here.

Maybe it should have been disturbing, but Rose liked it. It was a reminder that she hadn't been accidentally beamed onto some alien ranch. She was in the TARDIS and the TARDIS had a Paddock Room. She wondered if that's what the Doctor called it. She wondered if he even knew it existed. He said there was a pool somewhere, but he'd lost it. She'd thought he was joking at the time, but now….

Still, as lovely as it was here, there were other places, rooms to see. Rose laughed audibly as she jumped off the fence and jogged back toward the rustic low-lying buildings where the door was.

Stables.

There was still a large stall with hay stacked up neatly. The hay was a lovely beige colour and fresh as the day it was piled up here. She inhaled the sweet tang of it.

Shareen had grandparents with a small farm in Devon and sometimes she'd gone there when they were kids during school holidays. Shareen's Pop took them on drives in the tractor and even taught Rose to ride a horse, and it had smelled just like this.

There were no horses in these stables, though. The equipment was still here; bridles, saddles, brushes, rugs, everything you could need to care for a horse and all in their neat positions and not a speck of dust on anything. But no life. If it had ever housed horses, there wasn't a trace now. Not a hoof-print in the dirt.

Back in the corridor, Rose considered.

There was another door directly opposite the Paddock Door…Stable Door? That was probably a more dignified name for it, she thought, The Stables. She'd have to ask the Doctor what he called it. Actually, now that she thought about it, she really should ask him if the stables were for horses at all, or some weird alien versions.

With a shrug, she figured what the hell and popped into the opposite room.

The lights were dim here, so it took a moment for Rose's eyes to adjust. She wasn't quite sure what she was looking at. It was a room as big as a warehouse, partitioned with floor to ceiling walls. She walked down one of the aisles, careful to keep the door in sight. You may not be able to get lost out in the corridors, but she wasn't so sure about in here. The walls were set with regimented roundels-that's what the Doctor called the circles set in all the walls throughout the TARDIS-but there was something subtly different about these.

She ran a hand lightly over one.

A low hum sounded, echoing around the room and made her jump guiltily. But the roundel she'd touched flared with light, made a one hundred and eighty degree turn and slid forward with a hiss. They were drawers, she realised, not the usual roundels at all. The inside glowed with a white light, making Rose squint down at it. She saw globes, hundreds of tiny glass-or at least something that looked like glass, possibly crystal-globes were nestled inside the drawer. She reached in carefully and touched a fingertip to one of them. It was cool and smooth. Along the sides of the drawer were what she recognised as Gallifreyan symbols. She sighed just a little. The writing was so beautiful and not for the first time she wished she could read it, but it was the one thing, the Doctor had told her, that the TARDIS didn't translate. She'd noticed at the time he never said 'couldn't' translate, just 'didn't'. But she'd seen enough of the hurt in him to let it go.

Still it didn't help her here. She had no clue what it was she'd found in this room, in these drawers. She shrugged and decided she'd just ask the Doctor about it later. Gently, she touched the front of the drawer again and immediately it withdrew, did another turn, the light went out and it was as dormant and ordinary looking as the rest of them.

Rose left the way she'd come and was back into the corridor again. There were a few options. There were more doors down the corridor, a couple of turnoffs, stairs up, stairs down. Going one door at a time felt a little boring and too regulated to her; it would be far more fun if she tried rooms in more of a random fashion-like Forrest Gump and his box of chocolates.

With a grin, Rose closed her eyes, spun herself around, opened them and did what seemed the most natural thing in the universe: she ran.

She'd made several random turns, passed who knows how many doors, up three sets of spiral stair cases before she finally stopped to catch her breath. She was puffing a little now and thought this looked a promising corridor…even if it looked just like every other corridor.

She tried the first door to her left. It was dark inside, which was weird. But as she placed her foot inside, the room burst into light. Wall lamps blinked to life, one after the other, along with the several chandeliers that hung from the vaulted ceiling.

'Oh my God,' she said, aloud.

Of all the rooms she'd seen, this one seemed the least useful to someone like the Doctor. She wondered if it had ever been used, or if it existed simply because… well, just _because_.

Rose spun in a slow circle when she reached the centre of what could only be called a grand ballroom.

Large, gilded mirrors lined the walls, so that the room and she, standing in the middle of it, went on and on for eternity. Between each mirror the posh wall lamps cast their ambient light over the sculptures that stood beneath them.

She looked up at the gigantic chandelier above her. Hundreds of crystals dangled off silver chains and the light sent rainbows dancing along the pink marble floor.

Rose tried to imagine the Doctor actually hosting a ball. The image made her laugh; she saw him scowling at anyone who had the audacity to attend, the only concession to formalwear would be a change of jumper under his leather jacket, and he would grumble all night about a bunch of strangers being in his TARDIS.

Not that he would ever open up the TARDIS to a bunch of strangers; which just made the room all that much more unnecessary.

It was lovely though, she thought. The mirrors were perfectly spotless, not a streak. The floor was smooth and gleaming. With a grin, and quick look at the door to make sure she was alone, she did a quick two-step.

Her sneakers squeaked on the polished marble and echoed around room. It was a lonely sound, she thought. And she thought of the Doctor wandering the TARDIS corridors alone for so long.

But not anymore; not if she had anything to say about it. She closed the door to the ballroom behind her and decided that one day she'd make him dance with her in that room.

A few paces up the hallway she stopped at another door. It no longer surprised her that there was a door so close to the previous one…each room within the TARDIS was bigger on the inside, too. This one was quite different; it was circular with no door handles or latches, or buttons or anything, instead it rolled aside smoothly when she approached it.

Rose gasped, enchanted and just a little bit unnerved. What she saw drew her into the room and she moved inside before she'd even realised it. Goosebumps prickled her flesh and her heart pounded, but she knew what she was looking at-she'd seen it in the monitor of the control console-so she knew she was safe. But seeing it like this…like she was inside it, in the midst of it…

The Time Vortex.

It whirled in streaks of blue all around her. She twisted to look back at the door. It stood inset in only a few feet of wall, and then the wall seemed to drop away into the Vortex. She didn't know if it was glass or some gigantic viewing monitor, but the 'window' was more like a bubble, with her in the centre. She stood atop a long narrow bridge that expanded into a wide round platform suspended in mid-air in the very centre of the bubble.

Looking at her feet, she did a little bounce. There was no shift, the bridge stayed still and steady. The churning Vortex she could see over the edge made her slightly dizzy, so she raised her head quickly. She wasn't comfortable with the idea of losing her balance.

She moved onto the large platform and it was only then she noticed the two reclining chairs side by side in the centre of the platform. At another time she might have thought that strange, but now, seeing this, she could understand why someone might just want to sit here and be mesmerised by the magnificent view. She skirted the chairs and approached the front edge of the platform.

Before her, above her and all around, the funnel of the Vortex swirled as her bubble seemed to fly swiftly through it. It was the most beautiful thing she'd ever seen. Scary but thrilling, roiling and pulsing with power yet somehow peaceful; strangely, it reminded her of the Doctor.

She sat on the floor, cross-legged and just let it swamp her. The Doctor had once said to her that people just filled their lives with work and food and sleep. Back on Earth, at whatever point in time, that's just what people were doing, but here she was, she thought, looking into infinity. How many people could say that? Not inside the universe, but not outside of it either. She didn't really understand it, exactly, but she didn't have to; she just had to live it. The Universe flowed around her.

She had no idea how long she'd been sitting there when she felt a slight jolt. The streaking colours of the tunnel dissipated and suddenly stars blinked into existence. And not just stars. Giant clouds of colour in glowing reds and yellows and greens and blues all swirled together; bright flares of light as the swirling colours shifted and parted then merged together again. This was a different kind of beauty, she thought. Not more or less, just different.

She heard the door slide open behind her and twisted. She got to her feet and faced him when the Doctor started clomping up the bridge toward her; the door rolled shut and behind him a million shimmering stars shone. She felt something inside her chest tighten.

He smiled at her, his wide, infectious grin and pointed to the clouds outside.

'So, what d'ya think?'

Rose turned back to gaze at the view again. 'It's beautiful. Where are we?'

'That's weird,' he said.

Confused, she looked back. 'What's weird?'

He waved at one of the chairs. 'There used to be only one chair in here.'

He looked up at her. A frown creased his forehead, but before she could ask what the problem was, he grinned at her again, his eyes lighting up.

'What d'ya say? Where are we? In the Vizante System. Good isn't it? Thought you might like the view.'

'You came here for me?'

'Well…I was done with repairs…and you weren't back yet, so… I checked and saw you in 'ere…and…just thought you might like…I dunno…the colours. But if you're bored-'

'I love the colours,' she said quickly. 'Where'd you say we were? The vig…' She stumbled over the word.

'Vizante System.'

'Will you tell me about it? Where all the colours come from?'

For a moment he just blinked at her and she thought about retracting her request. It was probably stupid and he would rather just go on another adventure right away. But just as she was taking the breath to tell him not to worry about it, he smiled and took her hand.

He led her to one of the chairs and sprawled into the other next to her. She looked up into space as he spoke; as he told her why some of the clouds were green and others orange; where the wind that whipped them into a frenzy came from; how far away they were from the nebula to be able to see it this way; and how long the storm had been raging unobserved by anyone else in the universe until this moment.

For some reason she felt the prick of tears in her eyes.

When he was done they lay in silence for a while. She had so many questions for him, but right now they didn't seem to matter much; they could wait till later. Right now she just watched stars being born with the Doctor.

'Look, that cloud,' she pointed. 'It looks like a map of Britain.'

'Humans. Always seeing things that aren't there and not seeing the things that are. That's hydrogen-'

'And over there, that's a banana.'

She glanced at him briefly, just enough to see the smile creeping onto his face. 'I like bananas.'

She knew he did. There was a larder in the kitchen stacked full of nothing but bunches of bananas that never browned or went soft, but stayed eternally perfect and ready to eat and she didn't think a morning went by that he didn't inhale one with breakfast.

How long they lay together finding shapes in matter that was, before her eyes, becoming stars, planets, galaxies she didn't know. She didn't care.

'That one looks like a face,' she said.

'Big, vacant eyes…reminds me of your boyfriend.'

'Shut up.' She swatted his arm. She shouldn't have laughed, really, but she couldn't help it.

It was his turn, and she was turning to look where he pointed when she felt it. A tremor vibrated up through her chair. But before she had a chance to ask the Doctor about it, the TARDIS rolled. She grabbed onto her chair to keep herself from tipping out. The vibrations grew until her teeth chattered; she looked over at the Doctor who was standing now looking up through the bubble above. She struggled to her feet to stand with him.

'What…?' She didn't get to finish.

A gigantic vessel zoomed over them, making them duck out of instinct. It looked to Rose like it had missed their bubble by mere inches. She had no idea how close it really was to the outside dimensions of the TARDIS, but she figured their ship had moved out of the way for a reason.

She and the Doctor twisted as they watched it pass, then flinched when a huge blast shot out from below. The fire went out almost instantly, but the engines spluttered and then the vibrations stopped. As they watched, the ship lolled to its side and drifted along in silence, its momentum carrying it forward.

The Doctor turned to her and grinned.

She grinned back. 'Trouble?'

'Yup.'

He took her hand and they bolted down the bridge and out of the room. He pulled her around the corner, opened another door, and charging through it with him, Rose found herself back in the Control Room.

He let her hand go and started his manic pulling of levers and rotating of dials. The central column pulsed.

She held onto the console, opposite, ready in case of another rough landing. 'I take it we're checking on that ship?'

'Someone might be in trouble.'

'Yeah, it's usually us.'

He ducked his head around the column to look at her. She could feel herself grinning ear to ear at him.

'Let's find out.' The TARDIS fell silent except for its usual comforting hum. 'Here.'

He snatched her jacket off the pilot seat and threw it at her. She caught it and shrugged into it as she followed the Doctor down the ramp and out of the TARDIS.

A/N: So... reviews? Yes please! Not that I'm needy or anything.


	2. Chapter 2

**In the TARDIS**

by mara-anni

**Chapter 2: The Sun and the Moon, the Day and the Night**

The Doctor's head popped out of the floor. He fished around for something in the toolbox he'd left by the edge, before he looked up.

'Where's Jack?'

'He went to bed two hours ago,' Rose told him, with a touch of admonition in her voice.

He just shrugged and disappeared under the floor again.

Rose sat cross-legged on the pilot's seat, listening to the Doctor continue chatting about the banana plantation on Villengard. She'd been nagging him to tell her about it for weeks and it seemed she'd finally worn him down. His voice came echoey and stifled from under the floor of the TARDIS where he was tinkering again.

She laughed when he reached the end of his story. 'Sounds like fun. Wish I'd been there.'

For a moment there was silence in the TARDIS; the sounds of the Doctor's tinkering had stopped.

She raised her eyes to check the hole in the TARDIS floor, but he wasn't there.

'Doctor? Everythin' okay?'

'What? Yeah, why?' Rose thought he sounded slightly startled, and figured he'd been concentrating on something she'd interrupted.

'Sorry,' she said.

He didn't reply, but the hammering, the twangs of metal scraping against metal, and the occasional sparks started up again.

'So, when you fix this... thingie...'

'Helmic Regulator.'

'Helmic Regulator. We'll finally be able to get to this Woman Wept planet? Why is it called that, anyway?'

'You'll find out when we get there.'

The Doctor claimed the TARDIS had suffered some damage since they'd nearly blown up the planet Pictos, and so navigation had been a bit of an issue—or at least, more of one than usual. If it wasn't for the fact that this time they actually had a particular destination in mind, they might not have noticed the problem till the next time they tried to visit her mum. The Doctor had finally decided that traipsing randomly across the universe wasn't working, and apparently he _really_ wanted to show her Woman Wept. So he'd settled them in the Vortex while he and Jack fixed the TARDIS.

Which was taking far longer than he'd said it would. Not that Rose minded, really. Sometimes it was nice to have some quiet time, and since Jack had eventually slunk off to bed with heavy lids and a slightly singed fringe from a particularly large spark, she got to have the Doctor to herself for a while.

She bent, snatching a tool off the floor where the Doctor had left it. She turned it in her hands, ran her fingers over the circular symbols carved into it.

'Hey, I need that.'

'Well, you shouldn't have left it lyin' around on the floor where someone could trip on it.' She unfolded her legs and stood.

He rolled his eyes at her and twitched his fingers for the tool she held. She slapped it into his open palm.

'You could make yourself useful, then,' he said.

She sat on the floor next to the opening inside which the Doctor was working. It wasn't the most comfortable of floors to sit on, metal and grated as it was.

She wriggled.

'What?'

'This isn't exactly easy on the backside, y'know.'

The Doctor peeled his leather jacket off. 'Shove over.'

She shifted and he bunched his coat up and laid it on the floor, patting it when he was done to invite her back.

Rose moved to sit on top of the Doctor's jacket, while he ducked back under the floor. She found herself swallowing a lump in her throat; she was touched by the gesture. She didn't know why, really. It was just a stupid jacket, after all. But it was _his _jacket. He loved his jacket, never went anywhere without it. And he'd given it to her to sit on to make her more comfortable. It was so sweet; he could be so sweet sometimes.

She blinked back the mist in her eyes and smiled down at him when he called her name. 'Hand me the oscillator?'

The one with weird gold bands on it, she thought. She fished it out of the box and handed it down to him. She'd inadvertently learned most of the names of the weird tools he had, and some of the more mundane ones, like the plain tarnished spanner that sat right next to the strange contraptions that gleamed.

She spent a while sitting with him as he worked, sending tools down for him when he called out for them. Eventually, she ran out of tools because he never handed them back to her. He said he might need them again. When the box was empty, and with nothing else to do, she was starting to get restless and her bum had gone numb despite the Doctor's jacket.

She stood up and stretched, with a long yawn. The Doctor looked up at her.

'Where are _you _goin'?' He said.

'Actually, thought I might go for a walk through the TARDIS. I haven't done that in a while.'

'Oh…but…what about the tools?'

She squatted and waved her hand in his direction. 'You've got them all down there with you.'

He looked around himself as though surprised. 'Oh.' He looked up at her again. 'Alright, then.'

He looked a little lost and she laughed. 'I won't be long, and I'll make us a midnight snack on my way back.'

She skipped out of the console room, feeling light and happy and in the mood for adventure. She shook her head at herself. When was she not in the mood for adventure?

She and the Doctor, she thought, two peas in a blue box. She wondered how long he'd need to hammer away at the TARDIS before they could go somewhere. She should probably sleep, and she would, but lately she'd gotten used to sleeping only a few hours a night. Sometimes, the Doctor would take her to some random planet or moon or asteroid, after Jack had gone to bed, and they'd go exploring for a few hours. If he finished quickly enough, they might be able to do that again tonight.

* * *

It was late, according the time the TARDIS kept, and the corridors were in deep shadow, lit only with a dull ambient glow Rose had never been able to find the exact source of. She thought maybe it came from the join between wall and floor, like a soft night light. It should have been eerie. Rose had a thing about walking into rooms without turning the lights on first—she hated to do it and avoided it whenever possible. She remembered how scary she used to find the passage from her bedroom to the living room when her mum was in bed and everything was dark, and shadows shifted in the night; as a child, she'd have to bolt to the kitchen and dive for the light switch.

So walking along the TARDIS at night like this should have had her heart rate speeding up. But it didn't, it never had. The TARDIS was, to Rose, somehow inherently safe. Maybe it was the constant hum of the ship that was comforting, as though you were never really alone in the TARDIS, as though there were always someone watching over you. No creatures of the night were going to jump out of these shadows. Then again, she thought, maybe it was because she'd had so many real life monsters jumping out of shadows that a dark corridor no longer held the sense of menace that it used to.

Whatever it was, Rose was happy to be walking along hallways she'd yet to explore.

Turning left at the art gallery would have taken her toward the Cloister Room, which was probably the only place in the TARDIS she did find a little spooky if the Doctor wasn't with her. So she'd kept going, climbing another set of spiraled stairs.

She hadn't expected the cricket pitch. But then berated herself for not expecting it…after all, she'd found the stables on her first solo exploration. She kicked at the hard surface, and noted the wickets were in place, but the bails were off. Despite growing up with Mickey babbling at her about football, she'd never been into sports, so she made her way back through the pavilion and out again into the dimly lit corridor.

The Doctor had told her once that the TARDIS was as big as it needed to be. She wasn't sure why anyone would _need_ all these rooms, but perhaps the Doctor was wrong about that. Perhaps it was more like the TARDIS was as big as it _wanted _to be.

Around the next corner, in stark contrast to the rough coral walls they were set inside, were a set of highly conspicuous French Doors of smoked glass. Most of the doors in the TARDIS were fairly uniform, but a few did seem to have their own little eccentric quirks; apparently this was one of them.

Rose pushed on the brass door handles and the door swung inward. She clapped a hand over her eyes and watched the colours dance a minute before she parted her fingers slightly and peered through them with a squint. The sun beat down from above her, warming her skin. Of course, she knew it wasn't an actual sun…it couldn't be. A lot of the rooms had 'outside' environments, but the overhead light bulbs in this room must have been nuclear powered or something. She looked up at the ceiling to see if she could make them out, but that just made her eyes water. It didn't matter, anyway. The room itself was much more interesting.

She felt like she'd slipped onto a Tuscan balcony in summer. Reclining sun lounges, like the two in the Observation Room, sat here and there atop the terracotta paved floor, with a couple of little round blue and white metal tables. Luscious potted plants were set at various places in a random pattern; deep purple flowers bloomed and stretched toward the sunlight. The jasmine that had spilled out of its pots and crawled across half the wall explained the lovely sweet scent.

The idea of lying back in the sunshine was unbearably tempting. But she hadn't come to sunbathe—especially considering it was coming up on midnight outside this room—so she filed its location away for another time. She was strangely quite good at that; at finding her way around the TARDIS, considering its labyrinthine nature.

Rose smiled to herself. None of the corridors made any sense. Rooms weren't grouped in type or function, their location seemed utterly random. Rose wouldn't have had it any other way.

She ran her fingers along the wall as she walked further down the corridor, skimming across a roundel. For a moment she thought she'd heard the pitch of the TARDIS's hum change, but she decided she'd most likely imagined it.

The next door was just like any other and slid open when she touched the pad next to it. Rose found herself standing in the doorway blinking at what she saw. Slowly a smile spread across her face till her cheeks hurt and she laughed as she went in. The centre of the room was dominated by a full sized billiard table, ornate and gleaming. The lamp suspended over it was glowing down upon the green fabric. The triangle, already filled with coloured balls, sat at one end as though just waiting for someone to pick up one of the four cues that hung upon the wall and play.

But that's not what had Rose's cheek's aching. Nope…it was the arcade machines. In pride of place sat a classic Space Invaders, complete with red plastic buttons and seats. She was too young to remember its heyday, but one of her local chippies used to have a beat up old one just like it. This one could have been manufactured yesterday.

Rose walked along the rows—Pac Man, Donkey Kong, Bubble Bobble…which had a suspicious dent in the metal frame just next to the right hand controls.

'Stupid game, that one.'

She nearly jumped two feet in the air at his voice. She hoped he hadn't noticed. He hadn't seemed to as he was busy scowling down at the gaming machine.

'Nice arcade,' she said and moved on. 'Spend much time in here?'

'No. Didn't even know about the room. Anyway, this is borin', let's see somethin' else.'

'Are those bean bags?' She didn't wait for his answer, and skipped over to the corner nook. A huge TV, flat as a pancake, hung on the wall, beneath it a variety of gaming consoles were left on the floor in disarray. Some she recognised, like the Atari which had a cartridge with a picture of The Smurfs on it still in the slot, and the Xbox 360—Mickey had been banging on about wanting one of those. What would he say if he knew about the Xbox 720 and 1440 that sat next to it, their logos glowing green?

In front of the TV sat two large bean bags, one bright yellow and the other orange.

Rose dropped into one, wriggling until she sank right into it.

She grinned up at the Doctor. 'Nice bean bags.'

'You done, yet?'

She rolled out and got to her feet. 'Never seen it before, eh? Why's it here then?'

'I don't know, the TARDIS has a lot of ridiculous rooms she doesn't need.'

'Are you blushing?'

'No!'

'Yes you are, you're blushing.'

'I am not blushing. Time Lords do not blush.'

'Right,' she said, not masking the sarcasm, but hooked her arm through his. 'OK, show me somethin' else then.'

* * *

Arm in arm, they strolled down the corridor.

'I found a sun-room,' she told him.

'Oh. I'd forgotten about that one. If you use it, just don't forget the sunscreen. Your pink human hide will roast in minutes in there.'

'But not your Time Lord hide, I suppose.'

'Superior genes.'

It was Rose's turn to roll her eyes. She gave him a swat on his arm for good measure. He didn't say anything, but she saw his lips turn up ever so slightly.

A question occurred to her which she'd been meaning to ask for a long time. 'So, who waters the plants?'

'What plants?'

'The ones in the sun-room. There were potted plants everywhere. I checked, they're real.'

'Of course they're real. Of all the species in the universe, only humans have this strange compulsion to render plants in plastic, stick 'em in pots and pretend they're real.'

Rose considered that a moment. Her mum had several fake plants around the flat. Now that he put it that way, it did seem a strange thing to do. If you couldn't be bothered caring for them, then why not do without them entirely?

'So if they're real, they need water. How do they get it?'

'When it rains, of course. How else do plants get water?'

'When it…rains? Of course.' You know what, Rose thought, maybe some enquiries were better left to other occasions.

Obviously he was really talking about some elaborate sprinkler system or something, although now she couldn't help wondering how she was going to manage to catch the TARDIS _raining _on the plants.

She shook her head to clear it and was gratefully distracted by another door. This was a very different looking door to any she'd seen yet. It was large and hexagonal and made of the same coral as the walls. In fact, she'd nearly missed it. She stopped, pulling the Doctor with her.

'What's in 'ere?'

The Doctor reached out as she moved away from him and toward the door, and gripped her fingers, tugging her to a halt. 'Nothin'. It's just a room. Not very interestin'.'

Well, that did it. She was all the more intrigued now. Her natural curiosity wouldn't allow her to just walk away. She arched an eyebrow at him. If anyone could understand that it would be the Doctor.

She watched his face as his eyes darted to the door and back to her. She'd seen similar looks on him before. Thoughts. Memories. And behind that, an internal tug-of-war as though he wanted to show her…but didn't…but did. It never failed to remind her, that look, of how alone he'd been for so long. But he had her now. So she did what she always did: what came naturally.

'Is there any reason why I _shouldn't _have a look?' She pulled her hand out of his.

He'd resisted a little, but he could have stopped her if he'd really wanted to. She leaned against the door, a hand on the ordinary looking doorknob.

'No, but…'

She didn't let him finish; she turned the knob and pushed the door open.

'Oh.' He was right about the nothing to see part.

The room was completely bare. The light was soft, though, and there was something peaceful about the room.

Rose turned to the Doctor and saw the door silently close behind him. His fingers were twitching strangely at his sides and he was looking around as if he'd never seen the room before, either.

And then Rose realised something: She couldn't hear anything, anything at all. She'd become used to the quiet but constant background hum of the TARDIS, and she only noted it now for its sudden absence.

'Doctor, I can't hear the TARDIS!'

'No,' he said. 'You wouldn't. Not in here.'

'What d'ya mean? What's the room for?' She did a full circle, just in case something had appeared while she wasn't looking. It _was_ the TARDIS, after all.

'It's called the Zero Room. I didn't know it was back. See? Listen.'

'I can't hear anything.'

'Exactly.' He ran a hand over the wall as if getting to know it again. 'It's curative. It's cut off from any and all external stimuli. Except for…'

He stopped suddenly and looked at her.

'Except for what?'

'The smell.'

'What sme…' she blinked as she noticed it for the first time. 'Is that roses?'

'Yes.'

'Why does it smell of roses?' She looked around for a plant or some kind of fragrance infuser or something.

'I don't know. It's _always_ smelled of roses. No one's ever known why.' His voice had gone soft, almost distant as though he were talking to himself.

'Well, it's nice.'

When she looked up at the Doctor with a smile, she found him just staring at her, frowning. He was looking at her strangely, but she couldn't decipher what it was she saw on his face…his eyes seemed to almost burn, but the rest of his features were neutral.

'What?' she asked.

After another moment, he looked away from her. 'Nothin'.'

'Doctor? You okay?'

He turned and grinned at her in one of his lightening fast changes of mood and Rose felt herself unable to stop her answering grin.

'You want plants, Rose? I'll give you plants. The TARDIS has a garden, several in fact. Have you found any yet?'

'No! Really?!' She was imagining a greenhouse-type scenario, warm and tropical, but given the scale of everything she'd seen so far, it would be huge.

'Will ya show me?'

He opened the door, and with a gesture and a little bow held it open for her.

Then he took her hand. 'Gardens, swimming pool…'

'You found the pool?'

'Yep, it's a huge one this time, too. Pretty much anything you can imagine, the TARDIS has probably got somewhere.'

'Okay, gardens first, then you can show me the pool.'

'Your wish…' he said, and hand in hand they found another set of helical stairs.

**A/N:** Reviews are welcome. I was going to say craved, but that seemed too needy.


	3. Chapter 3

**In the TARDIS**

**by mara-anni**

**Chapter 3: In the Rain **

'How big is it?' Mickey squinted at the bright ceiling.

'I dunno, really. But I went for an hour's walk in here once, without findin' another wall,' Rose replied.

He stood on tip toe to look over the flowers in the hope of seeing a wall in the distance. All he saw were more brightly coloured flowers in endless rows and patterns.

The grass was spongy under his sneakers, and green and fresh as spring time. He watched it spring back up under Rose's tread as she walked.

'What does the Doctor need a rose garden for?'

She shrugged. 'He says the TARDIS has always just had one.'

She'd been distracted during the whole tour, hardly saying anything. He knew why. He'd teased her about it before…on that ship…but watching her now, he was sorry he had. She gently touched the velvety petal of a big yellow rose, then leaned in to sniff at it. He didn't know why she bothered, the whole place smelled of roses and…green-ness.

At first he'd felt pretty good about it; he'd felt it would be good for her to get a taste of what it was like to love someone who was interested in someone else. But now he'd changed his mind. He'd changed his mind when he watched her standing there staring out the window of the ship at the stars, refusing to go back inside the TARDIS. She said she wouldn't leave him behind, and she searched; for hours she searched for a way – a button or lever or some sort of control that would somehow reopen the portals.

'Rose, listen. About the Doctor...'

'There are other gardens, too. Not just this one. There's one with all kinds of weird plants, some of them extinct, that the TARDIS has growin'. Kinda like a zoo, preservin' 'em.'

'Rose...'

'Or we could go back to the pool? Go for a swim?'

She didn't want to talk about it. She was looking at him with a smile on her face, but considering they'd known each other their whole lives it wasn't fooling him. But if she didn't want to talk about it, he wouldn't make her.

'I didn't bring me togs.'

'You don't need 'em. The TARDIS has a huge changin' room right by the pool, there'll be somethin' that fits. I'll show you.' She hooked her arm inside his and steered him around some colourful rose hedges.

It was only then he realised it was lucky she had, 'cause he was actually lost. Not that he was gonna admit it. They came out of the other end of a long tunnel, a tunnel made of roses that grew like vines, and he nearly tripped when he took another step only to find that Rose had stopped.

She slipped her arm out of his and veered to the left. He followed her to an arbor - that's what Rose had said they were called when they'd come across another earlier - under which was what Mickey considered a girly-looking kind of white park bench. The back and the legs were sculpted into roses—to match the garden, Mickey figured—with a thick green seat cushion.

'D'you wanna rest?' he asked.

He considered himself far too manly to sit on that bench, though he was happy to sit in the grass if she needed to rest. But she didn't reply, and she didn't sit down. She shifted and he saw a little circular table that matched the bench. There was a book on it, open with the pages down, as though someone had just left it there while they popped out to the loo or something.

Slipping her thumb under the book, between the pages, Rose gently picked it up. A book mark had been hidden under it, and she placed it inside and closed it. By the way she held it, the way she seemed to recognise it, Mickey figured it was hers. He opened his mouth to ask, but she beat him to it.

'Y'know, Mickey, I'm a bit tired.' But she didn't look tired, Mickey thought, she looked sad. 'I'll show you back to the pool.'

'Yeah,' he said. 'Okay.'

* * *

The Doctor pulled the dematerialisation lever, watched the Time Rotor start up.

He hadn't set coordinates. He figured he'd just let the TARDIS coast through the Vortex for a while. He sat on the pilot's seat, while the words in the letter he'd just read tumbled about in his mind.

Reinette.

He'd allowed himself to forget she was mortal. She'd had a glimpse inside his mind and she hadn't run screaming, or fallen to her knees...instead she'd taken him dancing.

He'd liked her. What was there not to like? She was sexy, smart and brave. He did seem to have a thing for blondes, apparently. Who knew? And she looked at him like he was a...

He stopped the thought. Since when had he wanted that kind of adoration? He'd let himself get carried away by the romance of it, the idea of Madame De Pompadour. And now she was dead. He'd allowed her to waste away, waiting for him to take her to see the stars; the decades of her short life passing in but a blinking of his own.

She'd made his hearts beats quicken the moment he saw the adult her. It was a rare thing for him. The only other person he'd ever had that reaction to was...he shook his head and struggled to push that aside. _Her_ life was just as short as Reinette's. Though he might see her grow ever older over the years, to him, Rose's life would pass no slower than Reinette's had. Just a blinking of the eye.

And that was it, wasn't it? Perhaps he just had to admit it to himself. That's why he'd let Mickey on board, despite the vehement objection she'd shot him, and he'd ignored.

Mickey, he'd thought, would act like a buffer between them. Mickey would stop them getting closer, and maybe even help pull them apart. He'd become too close to her, too attached.

Because she wouldn't last forever. She'd be gone...all too soon, she'd be gone and then where would he be? Alone. Alone in a way he'd never before been in his life. Not even after his whole planet was destroyed and his people thrown into oblivion. He'd tried to tell her that. She would decay, wither and die. And it would kill him. And yet he knew...even as he knew then, when she'd asked him...he wouldn't leave her behind.

Not her.

He couldn't.

At least not the way he felt, right now. So it made sense to bring Mickey, to create distance. Maybe she would change her mind and ask to leave—the thought created a strange, uncomfortable twinge in his stomach.

He flung himself out of the seat and started pacing. And maybe, with distance he would find himself less attached to her over time and when she...when she was gone... Well, maybe it wouldn't hurt so much.

The Doctor scrubbed his hands through his hair in frustration. It was all her fault, anyway, he thought, scowling at no one. She'd had to bring it up, she'd had to remind him of her mortality, make him think about it.

The truth was, she'd scared him. She'd made him confront it: the idea of losing her, of living on without her. He'd said he'd have to live on alone, but she didn't understand that it didn't matter how many friends he surrounded himself with once she was gone, he'd still be alone. The Doctor threw an angry punch at the edge of the Console.

Reinette had made him think he could forget Rose, or at least temper his feelings for her. If he examined his motives honestly, he realised that Reinette had been just another buffer, another layer to add between himself and Rose.

How selfish he had been. To both of them. His only defense was that he hadn't realised his own motives at the time. And he had genuinely liked Reinette.

He'd never had anyone see inside his own mind before. The thing with Skagra didn't count. Reinette hadn't seen memories, surface things. She'd seen deeper, or at least sensed the deeper. She hadn't admitted what she'd seen, really. It had worried him...it could be dangerous...but somehow he knew that even if she had seen what she shouldn't, she'd never mention it, not even to him.

It was an intimate thing. And he'd let himself get carried away with it. And so she'd spent the rest of her life gazing at the stars, ever waiting for him to come back and take her away.

Suddenly tired, the Doctor dragged himself back to the seat and dropped heavily into it. The Time Rotor rose and fell. The background hum changed and he listened as the TARDIS played music, probably to soothe him. He knew he'd be the only one who could hear it; human ears would only hear a soft humming. It was a melody he'd not heard before; at once haunting, comforting but sad, and a little magical.

When the melody faded away, leaving only the TARDIS engines, the Doctor took a breath to mention it, thinking he could get the TARDIS to play it so she could hear, but...the Doctor blinked. Of course, she wasn't sitting there next to him.

He glanced at the internal chronometer. It had been some time since she and Mickey had left. Surely she should have been back by now. Mickey wasn't that adventurous, after all. Shouldn't he be whining about wanting food or sleep or something, by now? And shouldn't she be back here in the Console Room with him?

He hopped to his feet and pulled the monitor over to the keyboard. A few commands later and it showed him where the TARDIS had created Mickey's room. The Doctor raised a brow and shot the Rotor a suspicious look before he swept out of the room.

'Mickey!' The Doctor was just rounding a corner when he saw Mickey arriving at his bedroom door.

Mickey stopped and looked up, waiting for him. 'Hey,' he said. 'Alright?'

'Yeah.' Little water trails dribbled from his hair and down Mickey's neck. 'Been swimming?'

He mopped at the water with the towel draped around his neck. 'Yeah. This place is like a hotel!' He grinned.

Mickey walked into his room and the Doctor went in after him. For a moment he just looked around. As far as rooms went, it was fairly small. About the size of your average hotel room, with a single sized bed on one side.

He decided not to mention it to Mickey, since he seemed happy enough with it. 'Have you seen Rose?'

Mickey paused, looking at him a moment. 'I dunno where she is. She showed me a couple rooms, like the pool, but then said she was tired.'

'Ah, she's probably in herroom, then.'

Mickey followed him back into the hallway. 'Doctor, where _is_ her room?'

'What? Oh...' The Doctor was too busy debating whether or not to disturb her to notice the way Mickey looked around, or to wonder about his small smile and the way he shook his head when the Doctor told him. 'Back up that way,' he said, pointing back up the hall toward the console room and beyond. 'Opposite my room.'

When the Doctor arrived there, his fist hovering over the green door of Rose's room—he had no idea why the TARDIS had given her a green door of all things—the debate about disturbing her started again. But the thing about it was that there was this song, and he really ought to tell her about it, she'd want to know, she'd like it.

Oh, who are you kidding? he said to himself. The truth was she hadn't come back to the Console Room to be with him and...he missed her.

He knocked.

And he was a selfish man, he thought.

But there was no answer. He knocked again, listening at the door. Which was ridiculous, since the TARDIS rooms were all soundproof. She could be blasting a sub-woofer in there and he wouldn't be able to hear it. He hit the little doorbell to the side of the room instead. That had been an interesting addition he'd discovered on her first night in the TARDIS so long ago. He didn't remember any of the other bedrooms ever having doorbells attached.

He waited a beat. Two. But still no answer.

He turned the door handle and poked his head inside. 'Rose?'

The room was empty, so he opened the door fully and stepped inside. He wondered for a moment what Mickey would say if and when he saw this. The TARDIS, he had to admit, had outdone herself for Rose. The door to her bathroom was slightly ajar, so he called through it in case she was in there. He got no reply.

Tentatively, he swung it open, ready to close in a second in case he did find her in there. And then he just stood and stared...and then burst into a flood of laughter.

His stomach started to ache before he managed to get a hold of himself. Who'd he been kidding? He'd never stood a chance, had he?

He ran both hands lovingly over the coral wall of the TARDIS. 'Me too, old girl,' he said to her. 'Me too.'

* * *

Rose left Mickey at the pool and started down the corridor until tears blurred her eyes. She gripped the book to her chest and leaned against the wall, between the roundels. She felt the vibrations of the ship's engines through her back and closed her eyes, taking a deep breath and allowing it to soothe the ache. Her thumb caressed the book she held so close.

She'd considered going to her room, but was half afraid Mickey would follow her there. She didn't know what she would say to him, considering the size of _his_ room. Hers was bigger than her mum's entire flat, with a giant canopied bed on one end. The duvet was fat and fluffy with a purple cover that was the exact copy of the one she had at the flat...only this one was silk. She had posh, ornate furniture. What would Mickey say if he saw the divan? And her bathroom was...well, in all honesty she was a little embarrassed by the size of it. She'd never even mentioned it to the Doctor. Who really needed a bath the size of a small swimming pool?

She didn't really use her bedroom that much when they were travelling, anyway; falling asleep half the time in the Control Room.

What would it would be like now Mickey was travelling with them? And then there was Reinette. Would the Doctor meet other people he'd want to invite on board? It wasn't any of her business, she knew that. It was his ship. She knew she had no right to be proprietary over the TARDIS, or over him, for that matter. But she couldn't help it.

She looked over the corridor, the walls, the ceiling. The TARDIS was her home, now. Much more so than her mum's flat had ever been. At least that's how _she _felt about it. The Doctor probably didn't see it that way. At least not anymore.

Maybe there would be no more falling asleep in the Control Room to wake with the Doctor's coat draped over her.

She looked at the cover of the book, ran her fingers over the golden letters. What had changed? She remembered him dancing onto the bridge of that awful ship, his tie around his head, brandishing a cocktail glass and talking about parties and banana daiquiris. He'd looked happy and carefree. He'd used to look at her like that, even when she'd worn an apron and dinner lady's hairnet once. And then, in the blink of an eye, she might as well not have existed because he'd met the perfect Madame De Pompadour. Just like that, Rose went from closest friend to "assistant", like Sarah Jane had said.

She didn't care what Mickey said, he wasn't like other men. He couldn't be that fickle. Maybe she really had just gotten things wrong between them.

She shoved herself off the wall and kept walking, pressing the book to her nose. She drew in a deep breath and was sure she could still smell leather on it. There was once a time when she had been enough for him.

The thought made her eyes sting again.

Before she knew where she was going, she walked into the library. She blinked before a small smile touched her lips. Strange as it may seem, considering she didn't finish her A-levels, she loved this room. But perhaps that was because the Doctor did too. It had been a long while since she'd had a chance to come in here, so she cast her eyes around again.

The walls were lined with shelves of books. In one corner a helical staircase—of the sort found throughout the TARDIS—led up and down to more shelves and thousands more books.

There was a gigantic old fashioned mahogany desk, with one of those posh green lamps and arm chairs with little occasional tables placed at strategic positions, some between rows of free-standing book shelves that went deeper into the room. But her favourite spot was at the fireplace. A big sofa sat by it, with a plush maroon rug that cushioned her feet when she slipped off her shoes. She left them on this time.

She held the book in two hands and opened it. She'd finished the book, but a few months ago had wanted to read it again. The Doctor had been making some repairs on the TARDIS with Jack's help, so she'd wandered off to the rose garden to sit in the sun and read; besides it was nice to have some alone time every now and then.

She used to wander off, exploring the TARDIS, a lot in the early months. It was one of those times that he'd shown her this library...and given her this book...

_'And this is the library.'_

_Wow, Rose thought. It didn't look that huge at first sight. There were arm chairs and little tables. She walked around the room toward the stair case and it was only then that she got a better sense of the scale. It was bigger than the London Public Library. Or maybe even the British Library where she'd gone for a school excursion once. _

_She backed away from the stairs, feeling a little overwhelmed. What if she wanted to read Jane Austen one day? Where would she even start to look for it? Did the Doctor even have Jane Austen, or was it all alien stuff? Although she figured to the Doctor, Jane Austen probably counted as alien stuff._

_'So, what sorts of books d'you have in here?'_

_'Anythin' and everythin' you can think of.'_

_She decided if she stayed on this level, and ignored the fact that some of the free standing shelves to the left seemed to go on for miles into the distance, this room wasn't so intimidating. She walked along the walls, lined floor to ceiling with books. Most were in strange languages, the words quickly reordering themselves into English for her._

_She found a beautiful standard lamp with a mosaic lamp shade, under which sat an arm chair. _

_'It's a Louis XV,' the Doctor told her. _

_She raised an eyebrow at him. 'A Louis XV chair with a bowl full of jelly babies next to it? Classy.' She laughed when he scowled at her. 'Can I have one?' _

_She nabbed two, popping the red one in her mouth. It was soft and fresh, and a sweet raspberry. _

_'You want one?' She offered the orange one to the Doctor._

_He screwed up his nose. 'Don't like 'em anymore.' _

_When she spotted the fireplace she dashed over to it, and bounced on the sofa. 'Comfy.' _

_Books lined the walls here too, so she stood and looked them over. Here she finally found titles and authors she recognised. The Time Machine by H.G Wells. She hadn't read the book, but she'd seen the Guy Pearce movie a couple years back. Tolkien, C.S Lewis, Jane Austen was here too, and even Agathie Christie. Strangely, interspersed amongst them were books with Gallifreyan script written on them. The TARDIS wouldn't translate these, she knew, with some disappointment. Almost drawn to them, she eventually pulled one out and turned to the Doctor._

_He was standing at the mantel piece, tinkering with some sort of little control panel on the side of it, but turned to her._

_He reached out and took the book from her. 'I haven't seen this in years. Literally. Centuries.'_

_'What's it called?' She took it back again, and ran her fingers over the gold swirls on the black cover._

_'Our Planet History. It's sort of a history book for kids. More like a bunch of fairy tales, really.' _

_She smiled. 'Time Lords have fairy tales?'_

_'As children, thank you.'_

_'I wish I could read it.'_

_'It's Gallifreyan, it doesn't translate.' She held his gaze and after a moment he shrugged. 'It's just a kids book, anyway.'_

_She wondered if she would ever be able to get him to read any of these books to her. She flicked through some of the pages._

_'You can learn a lot about people through their fairy tales.' _

* * *

He'd searched all her favourite places, starting with the Observation Room and was on his way to the library. She used to like to sit in the plush two-seater sofa by the fireplace, he remembered. They hadn't really taken the time to just hang out in the TARDIS since they'd first left the Estate months ago. He'd been laid up at her mother's for three months as he recovered from his botched regeneration, and when he'd felt able he'd tinkered on the TARDIS from time to time. After three months, when he'd fully recovered, so had the TARDIS. That meant he hadn't had to effect many repairs on her since they'd left.

And that's where he found her. She didn't have her feet up as she usually did when she read, but she sat on the side closest to the grate, fire blazing in the hearth. It wasn't a real fire, of course. Not technically. It looked like one, it even smelled like one. It generated heat only if the operator wanted it, otherwise it burned cold. Rose tended to have it burning strong and bright, but generating only the slightest warm breath against the skin.

The Doctor found himself standing in the doorway. He'd hoped she'd have noticed him right away and looked up and smiled bright and then he would have felt instantly better. He would have waltzed in and sat next to her, picking up some random book of his own. He'd irritate her by making a show of reading it in a few flickering pages and tossing it aside and picking up another. And maybe, just maybe, she would have swung her legs up to rest them over his knees.

But she didn't seem to hear him, absorbed as she was in whatever book she read. And uncertainty hit him again.

Now that he looked at her sitting here in the TARDIS library, he remembered looking up at the stars through a window in Versailles. He hadn't been thinking about all the worlds he'd have to wait a few hundred years to see again. He hadn't even been brooding about the fact that he was grounded on earth for centuries. He'd looked at the stars and thought of Rose out there. She'd be safe, he'd known that. All she'd have to do was get back inside the TARDIS and eventually the TARDIS would enact the safety protocols and take her home. Hardly any time would pass for her when he'd turn up at the flat. He'd imagined himself knocking on the door saying 'miss me?'. But centuries would have gone by for him as he waited for Rose and the TARDIS. And so he'd gazed at the stars in the direction of that demented ship.

Rose turned the pages of her book slowly, running fingers over them, but not, he finally noticed, reading them.

There was a seriousness in her features that he'd not seen on Rose before. Not even brushes with certain death had caused the look. She was too much like him; she enjoyed the life as much as he did and no amount of danger seemed to phase her. She was more concerned with the welfare of others – of the people they tried to help – than with herself.

They'd done a lot of running together, but she'd never asked to run away; from the first she'd seemed to understand him and what he did in a way no one else ever had – and she never questioned it, never whined about it. She'd never asked to avoid trouble or leave a fight…or to leave him.

He took the first steps inside.

But now she seemed lost. Not so much in thought, but just…lost. He didn't like it.

She finally noticed him when he approached the sofa. He shot her a small smile – he didn't know what else to do.

He could spout all sorts of nonsense till the cows came home and long after, but when it came to…this sort of thing…he didn't have a clue what to say.

'Till the cows come home,' he said. 'You know I've always wondered what that's supposed to mean. Humans use it to mean a long stretch of time, but it's not really is it? I mean, the cows come home every night don't they?' He plonked himself down next to her.

There was one thing he could never say to her. Well, three things, if you counted each word as a thing. Though he was fairly sure the phrase – and the sentiment – counted as one thing. So one thing he couldn't say…not out loud, anyway.

But he remembered there'd been times; there'd been times... when he watched her with Mickey or flirting with Jack, times she'd smiled at him... when his mind had _screamed_ it.

'Dunno. Shareen's granddad had sheep.'

She closed her book gently and though she had her palm spread over the cover as she did, he recognised it instantly when she set it aside.

It was an exact copy of another book that sat in the shelf across from them. Only instead of Gallifreyan in golden script on the cover, it read in simple English: Our Planet History.

He'd given it to her in the days when he'd worn a leather jacket and blue eyes. Made it for her…well, had the TARDIS make it for her.

'_You can learn a lot about people through their fairy tales.'_

_She said it so simply, as though it were nothing, and just turned away, tucking the book back into the shelf and exploring more of the books she found there._

_But it wasn't nothing. Not to him._

_She couldn't read Gallifreyan. Even if he wanted to teach her—and he realised with a cold shock that made him sit down on the sofa as he watched her kneeling on the floor pulling another book out, that a very big part of him wanted to—it was impossible. _

_But maybe there was another way..._

The memory was crystal clear. He reached over, snatching the book before she could stop him, and using it as a chance to sidle closer to her. A book mark poked out just over half way through the book and he opened it.

'I thought you'd finished it,' he said.

'I did. I started reading it again a while back. I've read it a few times since you gave it to me.' She smiled, but her eyes didn't ignite and there were no pearly whites flashing in the light.

_April 27th. _

_It wasn't really April 27th, but he'd promised her mother he'd bring her back for her birthday. In the TARDIS, Rose's personal time stream had gone several months beyond, but she hadn't noticed and in his defence he hadn't known her birth date till Jackie mentioned it—threatened him with it, more like. Rose had made him come in and say hello, and he'd bugged out of there as soon as he could. He'd done a little maintenance work with the TARDIS while she was gone. He'd just recalibrated the power modulator when he heard the latch of the TARDIS door click._

_He poked his head 'round the Rotor. The lights in the TARDIS had dimmed in correspondence with the lateness of the hour outside so she walked up the ramp toward him in shadow, until her happy face was lit by the green glow of the Console._

_He almost told her she was beautiful, again._

'_You disappeared quicker than usual.'_

_He winced. 'It was too…'_

'_Human?'_

'_Exactly.'_

_She wasn't offended, she just smiled and held something out to him. She lifted the foil off._

'_I saved you a piece of cake.'_

_He found himself blinking at her, thoughts fled his mind and for a moment all that was in there was her; an unusual sensation for someone who knew the name of every star in the cosmos. He pulled himself back together, hoping she hadn't noticed and took the plate._

'_I never gave you your present,' he said, fitting the plate on the Console between the drift compensator dial and the fast return switch and reaching into the inside pocket of his leather jacket._

'_You got me a present?!'_

_She was grinning ear to ear at him now, and she bounced on her toes when he handed her the brown paper wrapped package. She tore the paper off, letting it fall to the grated floor._

_And he watched her face as she did. A gasp, and her grin faded slowly away. For a moment, he felt a stab of worry…what if she hadn't meant what she said? She ran her fingers over the gold lettering, and finally she looked up at him. Her eyes—wide and __earnest__—swam in the green hue of the Console lights, and a soft smile bloomed on her lips. The boulder in his stomach dissolved._

'_You translated it.'_

'_Interpreted is probably a better word.' He took it from her, and flicked through the pages. 'It loses somethin' in translation.'_

'_I don't care.' She stopped his flickering and took the book back out of his hands; she held it as though it were something fragile._

'_Open it.'_

_With another quick glance at him, her eyes shining, she carefully opened the book. He'd written something in it for her._

'_What does it say?' She whispered the words as she looked up at him and then back down at his message._

'_It says, 'To Rose. Happy Birthday. From Me'.' He was bending the truth slightly, or more like omitting some of it. That wasn't the exact translation and – he'd signed it with his name. The book would never leave the TARDIS, and no one could ever decipher it if it did._

_She traced her fingers over it, and made him swallow, shifting from foot to foot till he forced himself to stop. It was a coincidence and nothing more; she couldn't know which of those words made up his name. And then she closed the book, took a step and wrapped her arms around his neck. His hearts kicked up another notch, and he held her. She whispered a thank you and told him that she loved it, and that it was the best gift she'd ever gotten. And though he was sure she was only being gracious, something warm in his chest chose, just for now, to believe her and the Universe seemed a much warmer and brighter place than it had before, as though he held a star in the palm of his hand, and it lit up the dark..._

The Doctor closed his eyes a moment, pulling himself out of the memory. ''Snow White and the Seven Keys of Doomsday'. You said that was one of your favourites.'

Memories that went with his previous regenerations were strange things sometimes. He recalled things like any other memory, but the feelings that originally went along with the memories—hurt, fury, pleasure...love—were gone, or at least different. Diffused. The memory of a memory.

Except when it came to Rose.

His memories of her and all they'd done together with his Ninth incarnation were as present and poignant as any new memory they'd created since.

But then, she'd had his hearts even then; and he'd regenerated with her inside of him, the taste of her still on his lips.

He wished he could know what that felt like, now. Instead, the Doctor closed the book, and handed it back to her.

She looked so sad and all he knew was that he wanted to chase it away. Because when she was sad, his hearts constricted in a weird and unpleasant way. And because...he wanted her happy.

'Maybe I can give you another one for your next birthday. Although…' he glanced at the shelf. 'The rest are a little dry. We weren't famous for our great literary imaginings, I'm afraid. Give me Dickens, any day.'

A flicker of light entered her eyes when she gifted him with a snicker. But it wasn't nearly good enough for him.

If there was one thing he was better at than talking, it was doing. He hadn't even realised the plan was forming in his head until he was taking her hand and telling her that he wanted to show her something.

It was a brilliant plan, though, if he did say so himself. Genius, in fact. Why hadn't he thought of it sooner?

* * *

Rose watched while the Doctor rummaged around in the wardrobe, almost disappearing behind the strange costumes in this section, before he finally cried out a triumphant 'Ah hah!'

He was stuffing something into his pocket when he took her hand again and pulled her out of the wardrobe and into the Console Room.

'D'you want me to get Mickey?' she asked when he started zipping around the Console. They were obviously going somewhere.

'No. Why would you do that?' He pushed the pump a few times, tuned some dials.

She couldn't help the smile. They used to sneak out places when Jack was asleep, all the time. And maybe waking up in the Console Room wasn't something she'd have to give up...at least not yet.

It wasn't long before the TARDIS jolted, then stilled with a final gong of the engines. The Doctor skipped around the Console, grabbed her hand and led her excitedly toward the door.

'C'mon!' he said.

He waited, pointing at the door for her to go first. He was grinning like a lunatic. She raised her eyebrow at him suspiciously, but he just grinned wider.

'You're gonna love this,' he told her.

'Where are we?' she asked, but didn't wait for him to answer before she pulled the door open and took a slow, almost cautious step outside.

The sky was a billowing yellow and orange. The ground beneath her feet was rocky, but felt strange under her boots. It glistened like ice and as she took a few more cautious steps she realised it _was_ ice, sold as rock, but starting to melt slightly around where she stood. She needed to be careful not to slip. She looked up and cast her eyes everywhere, taking in as much as she could. The pale landscape was full of scattered rocks, all glimmering in the strange diffused light, with hills and small mountains in the distance. Just metres away, a huge lake reflected the yellow clouds above.

There were no trees, nothing she could see that meant life. Usually, no matter how weird the planet, it had some kind of life. But apart from the ripples over the lake that showed her a breeze she couldn't feel, nothing moved.

The Doctor followed her out and stood next to her. When she looked at him, she knew she must have had a ridiculous grin on her face.

'Where are we?'

'Hold on.' He nodded toward the sky in front of them.

She felt the clap of thunder, rather than heard it, and a brilliant flash lit up the sky, sweeping some of the dense clouds away with it.

Rose felt her heart pound in her chest. Sitting in the sky, enormous and a hundred times brighter than Earth's moon, was a planet, its rings cutting it vertically in half.

'Is that? That looks like...'

'It is!'

'It's Saturn?! Our Saturn?'

'Yep. Well, yours.'

'Oh my god, I'm standing on one of the moons of Saturn!' The laugh bubbled, excitedly, out of her. 'Which one?'

'Titan. Earth does come up with the best moon names. Well, except for your own moon, which was rather uninventive when you think about it. But then, you did call your planet 'earth', so...' He shrugged at her, hands in his pockets.

The surface made crunching noises as she walked. 'Wait a minute, we've been on Titan before, on that...'

'That was in the future, this is your contemporary 2006 Titan. You, Rose Tyler, are the first human being to set foot on this moon. Which personally, I think is the prettiest of all the moons.'

He gripped her elbow and pulled her back a step. 'Titan doesn't have a breathable atmosphere yet, so don't wander off.'

As though he was afraid she would, he took her hand and held it. 'How're we breathin', then?'

'The TARDIS. There's an environmental bubble around us. That's why some of these rocks are melting. Otherwise we'd have frozen to death before we choked to death.'

'Right.'

'Here we go,' he said. 'Watch.'

The cloud cover had deepened from a wispy yellow to a deep orange, hiding the planet that loomed in the sky.

She wasn't sure what she was supposed to be seeing, but kept looking into the sky, just as the Doctor was doing next to her, a small smile playing over his lips.

She'd only glanced at him a second out of the corner of her eye, but when she refocused she saw it: globules of silver falling from the sky.

They were perfectly round, only warping as the wind blew at them, as they fell in slow motion. They fell so slowly she could move her gaze from one silver bead to another and another and back again and still they hadn't reached the frozen ground.

'It's rain!' Rose found herself gaping as ever so slowly the giant rain drops drifted down all around them.

She wanted to reach out and touch one; let it fall into the palm of her hand.

'Why is it raining so slowly?'

'The low gravity.'

Rose was breathless. It was like being inside a slow motion movie... or a painting; the moment frozen in time. Even her own movements, as she spun inside their safe bubble of atmosphere to get a view from every side, were slow in sympathy with the rainfall.

'I wish I could feel it,' she whispered without thinking.

'You're wish…,' the Doctor said.

Rose pulled her eyes away from the view to look at the Doctor in surprise. 'What d'ya mean...?'

With a flourish he pulled the gloves he'd searched for earlier, out of his pocket. 'Here, put these on.'

'What are they?' They felt thin and silky in her fingers. And stitched at the very top of each glove were Gallifreyan symbols.

'They're gloves.'

She rolled her eyes at him. 'I meant what are they for?'

They were far too big for her, both her arms could have fit in one, but she pulled them on anyway. When she'd unravelled the first one all the way up to her elbow, she felt a sudden warmth and the glove contracted, until it fit perfectly snug against her bare arm, almost like a second skin. She flexed her wrist, and rubbed her fingers together. The movement wasn't restricted and the sensitivity of her fingertips seemed undiminished.

She grinned at the Doctor and quickly pulled on the other.

'Environmental gloves. Part of a larger suit,' he told her.

'Environmental. Like a space suit?'

'Yep.'

She wondered what the rest of the suit was like. 'Okay, I've got the gloves on, now what?'

He took her hand and led her right to the edge of their bubble, the one he'd pulled her from before. 'Put your arm out, but not past the glove.'

And she finally understood. He was letting her feel the rain, just like she'd wanted. She couldn't help herself, she flung her arms around his neck with a whoop and a laugh.

He wrapped her up, his chin tucked in her shoulder.

Sarah Jane had said that some things were worth getting your heart broken over. In the Doctor's arms, Rose knew she was right. Maybe someday he'd invite someone else aboard the TARDIS, someone special to him, and though it might break her heart, she would smile and say 'welcome on board'. And maybe someday he'd forget all about Rose Tyler. But that was okay too, because in the end all she wanted was for him to be happy, safe and protected; all she wanted was for him never to be alone. And she would sacrifice anything – everything – to make that happen.

When she let him go, he was grinning ear to ear at her.

Maybe she'd got it wrong between them… But his eyes twinkled at her… And maybe she hadn't. She wasn't sure yet. But it didn't matter, either way. What mattered was here and now. And right now the Doctor fairly effervesced with excitement...while his eyes looked into _hers._

She looked out over the moon, its pale rocks and hills, and the hovering blobs of rain that splashed in slow motion into the lake. Carefully, she stretched her arm out, careful not to go past the rock she knew marked the barrier of the air bubble. Her eyes tracked one slow falling drop and she moved her hand under it…waiting…until finally it fell into her palm. It was cold, but not as cold as she'd expected; more like water from the fridge than the freezer. She found more rain drops and caught them, rubbing the strange liquid between her fingers, and letting it ooze away, continuing its journey.

She shot the Doctor one quick glance, unable to wipe away the silly grin that was starting to make her cheeks hurt, before she found the next silver blob to catch.

* * *

The Doctor watched Rose stretch her arm outside their protective bubble and catch the plump, slow falling methane rain of Titan.

Her face radiated her delight and wonder, and for a moment he wished he'd thought to grab his own pair of gloves. But then, he decided, he was quite content to watch her. She was happy, and somehow that seemed to matter more than anything else right now.

The sadness in her features when she'd held the book he'd given her a lifetime ago wasn't something he found he could live with. Not without doing something to wipe it away; something to show her when he couldn't tell her.

He understood that he was responsible for it in the first place. She hadn't used words to explain how she felt about him either; she'd shown him too. Sometimes he chose to forget that, just as he chose to ignore what was happening inside him.

But it was okay now because she was smiling up at the orange sky. He'd taken the sad away. It was the least he could do, really, since she took his away on a daily basis; every moment he spent with her.

She laughed as she caught another blob and then turned to him, her hand still hanging outside the bubble. 'D'you want a go?'

Her grin was quite possibly the most infectious thing he'd ever encountered. He probably should have quarantined himself from the beginning.

Too late for that now. He found himself grinning back at her and tucked his hands in his pockets when he told her he'd have a go of the gloves in a minute. He hadn't realised until he said it that he did want to. He hadn't bothered to see Titan like this before, himself, and he certainly hadn't thought to catch the rain drops. But Rose made it look like fun.

But then, she made everything fun.

He shook his head at himself, and pulled his eyes off her, instead focusing on the slow motion mini explosions when liquid methane globules connected with the lake; he watched the ripples seem to go on forever.

Though he had a soft spot for humanity in general, his affection for life was universal, it had never been specific before; he'd never attached himself to one individual like this before. In fact, he'd always had some contempt for that human trait—caring about one being above everything and everyone else—but then he met Rose. Somehow, though, it opened something inside him he didn't know had been locked away. When he thought of her, he knew why he bothered protecting the universe.

He'd allowed his fear of losing her to overshadow things. He'd told her that he couldn't spend the rest of his life with her, and that was true. Though there was something—a seed—inside him that wished he could grow old with her. Still it was also true when he'd told her she could spend the rest of her life with him. And he couldn't deny to himself anymore, that not only would he allow her to, he wanted her to.

They'd live _her_ life...together. And he'd stop worrying about the end, it was a long way off yet. He knew a lot could happen between now and then, but surely, he thought, the universe couldn't be that cruel. Not after everything he'd done. Not after she'd opened him up so that he now knew what it was not merely to care, but to...

The Doctor blinked as the unending ripples smashed against the shore, and his gaze found Rose again.

He didn't want to fall in love with her. But it was too late. And she couldn't have a clue what that meant to a Time Lord. His long-lived hearts were hers. And one day, when she was gone, she'd take a piece with her; a piece he'd never recover no matter how long he lived, or how many more regenerations lay between this moment and his everlasting memories of her and how she made him feel.

She beamed at him, her eyes alive.

And the Doctor was happy.


	4. Chapter 4

**In The TARDIS **

by mara-anni

**Chapter Four: The Doctor in the TARDIS with Rose Tyler. As It Should Be**

'Well I guess that was a successful test,' Rose said, finishing the last weave in her braid and securing it with a hair band as she walked into the Control Room.

'Yep,' The Doctor replied. But didn't look up from the Console.

The controls were a little different, in that they were mostly brand new buttons and switches scavenged from the Torchwood warehouses. The monitor was a sleek flat-screen, that he'd snatched from Pete's assistant's desk. She'd been on her lunch break at the time. But the shape was the same, the central column the same and it still had that same blue-green glow. He'd told her that the TARDIS 'desktop' – that's what he'd called it – could be anything, any way he wanted. But he'd kept it the same as it had always been. Rose hadn't said anything, but she'd been glad…she loved it this way.

'And mum didn't even slap you for bringing us back a week late. Though I guess it's better than a year.'

'We weren't technically late. We _have_ been gone a week.'

'Really?' It had meant to be a quick hop to the moon for the TARDIS's first test run, but once there they'd run into the Cthalctose who were having an issue over property rights. One thing lead to another and, after a few more stops along the way, they'd ended up on Canis Prime just in time for their annual pickle fair. Rose smiled to herself. 'I guess time flies when you're having fun.'

He finally looked up at her and the broadest of his grins split his face. 'It really does, doesn't it?' The console beeped and his gaze shifted back to the monitor before he threw a lever. The TARDIS jerked, then calmed. They'd both kept their feet this time. 'We're here!'

'Where's here?' Rose asked, reaching him and looking over his shoulder at the monitor. 'Is that Jupiter?'

'The one and only.'

'What year is it? I don't see a space station or anythin'.'

'It's the same year, we didn't move in time. C'mon, I want to show you something.' He took her hand and led her out of the Control Room at a trot.

'Where are we goin'?' Rose asked, but then they rounded a corner and the door to the Observation Room rolled open as he pulled her inside.

The room was just as it had been. The long bridge with a round platform at the end, suspended in the centre of the bubble; it even had the two reclining pool chairs side by side on the platform.

But this time, Rose's view was full of the giant planet. They were so close she could see the gas clouds swirling around each other. The violence of it, the knowledge that there was no comforting rocky surface under those roiling and boiling clouds, was enough to have her heart beating faster.

'I gotta say, it's kinda scary up close.'

He tucked an escaped lock of her hair behind her ear. 'Just watch.'

And she did. And as she did a great flash crackled across the surface. Followed by another and then another.

'Is that lightening?!' As with everything on Jupiter, Rose supposed, the storm was vast, the lightening when it struck, flashed over half the planet.

'It's…beautiful.'

He took her hand again and tugged her to the floor with him, so that they sat on the edge of the platform, their legs dangling over the ledge.

'I wanted to show you this before. It was supposed to be our first stop after visiting your mother. But then…Canary Warf…I never got the chance.'

A silence fell between them. Not uncomfortable, but weighted. She thought of the years she'd spent in this universe without him, the worlds she'd searched through. She thought of him sitting here with her now, not unaware that somewhere there was another him on his own. Every happiness brought with it a small twinge of grief, too. She hoped that, somehow, he knew that; that _he_ knew that she hadn't forgotten _him_, even as she made a life with him.

The lightening sizzled and danced across the planet, and she watched it flash in the Doctor's eyes.

'Good thing Pete's World has a Jupiter too, then.' She smiled at him and turned back to the view.

'You're the first human being to see it like this.'

'In this universe,' she said, figuring that surely one of his other friends had seen it before her.

'In any universe.'

She blinked and looked up at him. He was being serious. But only for a moment, then a light sparked in his eye that had nothing to do with the lightening below them and he reached into the inside pocket of his suit.

'Now, hang on. Jackie lent me this.' He pulled out a green and white checkered thermos and handed her one of the two plastic cups off the top. 'Jackie Tyler! Still makes the best cup of tea in the universe.'

She rolled her eyes, but couldn't help laughing. Her heart warmed and she thought it tripled in size.

He set the thermos and his now full cup down and fished inside his pocket again. 'And I picked these up when you were getting the milk.'

'Mars Bars?'

'Well, not exactly appropriate, but they don't have Jupiter Bars. You know, I always thought they should. A chocolate bar for every planet in the System would be brilliant!'

By the time she tore the wrapper open on her bar, he was already chewing on his.

She took a bite of her Mars Bar, and washed it down with her mum's tea, while she sat in the TARDIS with the Doctor and watched the lightening on Jupiter.


	5. Chapter 5

**In the TARDIS**

by mara-anni

**Chapter 5: I Create Myself**

'We need a new destination, because... I don't wanna go,' he said and stepped into his TARDIS closing the door behind him.

The Doctor took a breath, leaning against the TARDIS doors, allowing his gaze to travel over the-far superior-golden interior of his TARDIS.

He didn't want to go. And yet he knew—he'd been told—his song was ending, the cryptic four knocks were coming for him. The man standing outside the doors was proof enough: it wouldn't be long now.

He pushed off the doors, flinging his coat over a coral strut and rounded the console to Navigation.

Two words flittered through his mind; two words he hadn't had the time to properly consider.

_Bad Wolf_.

His other self, his nameless self, wouldn't remember having said it, and he wouldn't have understood what it really meant. The Doctor fixed his gaze on the navigation panel as he manipulated the controls.

Was it possible? Could she-? Of course it was possible. It was _her_.

Her name left his lips in a forbidden whisper.

'Rose?'

Faintly, ever so faintly and barely noticeable, the TARDIS's background thrum changed pitch. The dematerialisation lever vibrated under his hand.

And as he watched, the Randomiser switch flicked on.

The smile crept slowly across the Doctor's face.

'Haven't a clue where we're going?' Though his vision blurred, he grinned and somehow felt lighter than he had in the longest time. But then, she'd always done that. 'Good idea. More fun that way.' And he threw the lever.

The TARDIS spun through the Time Vortex and the Doctor blinked.

His eyes were stinging, his throat felt tight. He placed a hand on his chest, right between his two hearts and rubbed, trying to clear the feeling away.

Where was he going? Oh yes-Queen Bess; hopefully he was going as far away as possible. He checked navigation. He hadn't realised he'd engaged the randomiser function. His hand hovered over it a moment as he considered. But decided it was a good idea after all.

He shook his head at himself and scrubbed his hands through his hair. He wasn't used to a vague mind and clouded thoughts. Perhaps he'd gone too long without sleep. The fact that he couldn't remember when he'd last slept—certainly before he'd tracked down the Zygons—clinched it. As much as he hated to sleep...a waste of perfectly good time...he couldn't avoid it indefinitely.

Hands in his pockets, he left the Control Room and shuffled his way to his bed. Would he dream? He hoped not. In his dreams he almost always saw _her_. And he so desperately wanted to forget.

* * *

In the darkened control room, the monitor flashes to life. Gallifreyan script swirls over the screen; the emergency landing coordinates change.

The elegant symbols spin and take form:

_Emergency Coordinates_

_Temporal: 1998_

_Spatial: Earth. England. Leadworth._

The monitor goes dark.

In his bedroom, The Doctor sleeps.

He dreams of a shining silver forest under a burnt orange sky, a wolf's howl echoes off the white capped mountains; and in a field of red grass he sees a woman with a bright smile, who burns like the sun.


End file.
